Coaching for Individuals and Mother-Daughter Pairs
Individual Coaching
Women from all of over the world have been impacted by societal norms, pressures, limitations and roles of service. These systemic influences have impacted all women: mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, partners, friends. We are connected to the past and it influences our present. Yes, things have changed immensely for women in many parts of the world, and still we can carry the energy, memory, and beliefs from past generations whether we like it or not.
Cycle Breaker Coaching moves you through four distinct phases.
1. AWAKENING: We explore what the women in your lineage have inadvertently handed down through the generations and identify key cycles and patterns that impact your present by creating your motherline map.
2. RELEASING: This is the phase where you decide what you’re ready to let go of and what cycles you want to break in your life. I support you through different processes, including rituals, reflections and guided imagery to give back or release what was never truly yours to begin with. Women are told so many messages about what it means to be a “good” woman and how to gain approval and acceptance. These messages range from being nice, to looking a certain way, don’t be too much, always giving to others, and don’t be selfish and so much more. This is your opportunity to let go of what's unsupportive in your life.
3. CREATION: You can step into a new energy, a new story, and begin a new path. You may know exactly what you want for yourself, or may have a small inkling. This phase is about stepping into the new ways you wish to be. I support you in gaining clarity and taking steps forward in your new direction. For some women this could be growing a business, a family, finally starting that creative project, or taking a trip. For others it may be more internal, giving themselves permission to slow down, stop the busyness of life, and to find freedom in non-doing. These sessions are about showing up differently and making different choices for yourself. I help women listen to themselves, find their own courage to start anew, or pick up something that perhaps, you put down a long time ago.
4. SUSTAINING: This new way forward must be nurtured and supported. Sometimes, we have to learn how to prioritize ourselves. Tending to the garden is not always fun or easy, but it’s necessary to keep growing what seeds we’ve planted. This phase is about creating ways to support yourself and find commitment to what you’re creating. It’s about maneuvering through the mundane, day-to-day of life and continually returning to tend to your SELF.
This process is organic and we honor what feels right to you, while recognizing that making changes can bring discomfort, but also excitement.
Book a free consultation to see if my style of coaching is a good fit for your present needs.
Mother Daughter Coaching
My Mother-Daughter coaching is done under the same framework that I use for individual coaching, but the experience is done in tandem with your mother/daughter who you hope to strengthen your relationship with. I believe that understanding of the self leads to greater connection with those around us, and that is exactly where we focus in Mother-Daughter coaching. You will co-journey together into understanding what cycles you hope to break both as individuals and as women in the mother daughter relationship. We will have both individual coaching sessions along with sessions together as mother and daughter.
Women have so much pressure put on themselves. How can this not impact the mother daughter relationship?
Women have been told for centuries that they are too sensitive, too weak, too emotional, asking for too much, being too much, not giving enough, not nice enough, too loud, not working enough, working too much, not pretty enough, thin enough, too sexy, too uptight, too bossy, too quiet…you get it, and have experienced at least some of it. This external pressure causes the mother-daughter relationship to become a pressure cooker and thus the stereotype of the troubled mother-daughter relationship ensues.
With Mother-Daughter sessions, you and your mom/daughter have a judgement free, compassion filled space to finally hear and see each other in a new way. You decide how you want to move forward in relationship with one another. We come to this table together, wanting connection, wanting healthy boundaries, wanting to make things feel better, and this is often the common ground mothers and daughters stand on.
Unlike therapy, we don't drudge up and rehash the past in sessions. You won't be telling the same old stories in our sessions. In order to move forward in a new way, you learn how be authentically YOU in this relationship.
When you are willing to make changes, you can choose to live differently for yourself and within your mother-daughter relationship. You can create change from the way things have always been and try a new way. It’s not ever too late, whether you are 82 or 22.
Are you a mother/daughter who:
is 17 years of age or older?
getting ready to go to college or move out, and finding there is growing tension?
have a history of tension & distanced relationship, but wanting more connection now?
are noticing difficult emotions arising as a new marriage approaches?
experiencing a new pregnancy and wanting to implement changes before baby arrives?
want to hit the reset button on your relationship and find new ways to communicate, bond and understand one other?
Who is mother-daughter coaching not for?
Anyone under the age of 17
Someone who has not done their own therapy or reflection work--if this is the first time you are doing any personal work, I recommend doing it individually first. You can check out my individual coaching under services. If you live in Maryland and are interested in my therapy services, please explore emilybitnertherapy.com
Someone who wants to find blame in the other party and not aim to understand other perspectives. Hurt and pain is universal AND you must be willing to be open enough to stand in the other person's shoes.
Someone who is looking for a quick fix. A complex relationship of many, many years will take time to unravel, unpack and rebuild/strengthen. This work is not something that will change things overnight, but with proper commitment to the process, exponential changes can occur.
Book a free consultation to see if my style of coaching is a good fit for your present needs.
COACHING vs. THERAPY
As licensed mental health clinician and certified coach, I often get asked what is the difference between therapy and coaching? To answer this question simply: Counseling, therapy, or any other clinical mental health service helps clients work through a diagnosable mental health issue, anxiety, depression, burnout, post-traumatic stress disorder, etc. Therapy could integrate coaching, but coaching does not integrate therapy. Therapy will help you with exploring your past and present most often, while coaching is focused on moving you forward. You may spend time orienting around the past, but that is not where the works stays, the work is about moving you forward into taking new action.
My coaching process is time limited 8-16 sessions and while we get acquainted with elements of your past, we don’t linger there, it’s information to help you identify what you want to change within the context of what will help you feel more fulfilled, more like you. As a therapist, I do some of this in my therapy practice, but I spend a lot of time working with clients in managing present day challenges by examining and reprocessing the past. I use interventions that are specific to the field of mental health counseling. I don’t do this in coaching. If you are unsure if you want or need coaching vs. therapy here are a few questions to consider:
Do I need/want help managing uncomfortable symptoms? If yes, you may want therapy
Do I have a history of mental health challenges, such as anxiety, depression, mood disorder, etc. and want help addressing these? If yes, you may want therapy
Do I want to resolve past memories that keep bringing up difficult emotion? If yes, you may want therapy
Do I have difficulty in most of my relationships? If yes, you may want therapy
If you live in Maryland and are thinking you may want therapy, then please check out my private practice site here
Do I seek personal growth and general feel well? If yes, then you may want coaching
Do I seek to understand myself better in order to improve life? You could go with coaching or therapy
Do I seek an accountability partner to help me make changes and move towards goals for myself? If yes, then you may want coaching.
Do you already work with a therapist and feel you’re wanting to supplement your therapy with personal growth focus? If yes, you may want coaching.
If you are still unsure, no problem, just reach out and I’m happy to talk. It’s important to me that you find the right resource of support at the right time. Sometimes, during coaching it becomes clear that a person would benefit more from therapy. In this case I let the coaching client know this and we pause the coaching work until the person feels ready to return.